but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
