just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I've blown a few things in my day
i dont even know how to be here
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
