playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
