you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
