I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
