i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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