my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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