he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize