that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
