And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
