There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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