How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
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You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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