I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
