i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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