P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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