I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's rum buckets o'clock
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
A+ Viking dick
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
