NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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