Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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