I'm going to jail i love you
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish i was in the wii world.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
