The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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