i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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