I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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