Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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