Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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