Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Randomize
