Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The Olympian is in my bed
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