Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
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Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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