If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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