omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
