I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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