I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
