Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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