A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
