you guys were way drunker than both of me
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
