his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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