You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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