Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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