Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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