I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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