he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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