She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I understand Curling. That high.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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