you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
