She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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