Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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