You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
