the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my phone needs a breathalizer
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Found the puke drawer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
