so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
