I met the friendliest cop last night
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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