Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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