Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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