then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
