let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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