Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i dont even know how to be here
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize