like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
