His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
