I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize