the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes