It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize