Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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