Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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