I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
