when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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